by The Think Tank (via. http://www.the-iss.com/ The International Society of Supervillans)
Okay, it's Dr. McCoy. But he *looks* evil here, and that's good enough for me. Heck, I think he would have made a GREAT supervillan.So you've gotten your hands on a death ray or some radioactive space rock, but you're not sure what to do next.
Well, don't worry, because on your journey through high-yield specialized populace terrorizing (HYSPT), or supervillainy, as some call it for tax reasons, you don't need hyper attack bees or a trans-dimensional thought vacuum to sow chaos, it just helps.
Still, it does take more than crapping on a pizza or egging a house to be evil, so if you're ready for the big leagues, keep these things in mind.
Goals Ask yourself: Why do you what you do? What is worth crossing the lines of international law and the ethical standards of not getting your hands all up in some nuclear goodie-goodies?
In the world of HYSPT, you should never forget why you strapped on your spleen-stomping clogs and started doing soft shoes all over the hapless sheepal. Maybe you needed to create a giant robot to attack some small, out-of-the-way oil field, but the government cut its giant-robot-attack program. Maybe you have a noble cause, like curing cancer, but your cure requires fresh human hearts, and willing donors are few and screamy.
So, remember: Whatever path you do choose, you're right. Always. People just need to get over themselves and fork over those juicy hearts.
Means It's important to remember that having sonic attack sharks or a squid for a head makes Aggressive Anti-Sanity Syndrome (AASS, which most supervillains share) easier to manage, but they are not required.
The text-book archetypal stereotype is generally a mad scientist or evil genius or some such. Those lacking intelligence usually make up with super strength or really big guns and/or really sharp things to stab with. But if you don't fit in those categories, don't count yourself out.
Remember, a true villain makes his own rules, so if the evilest thing you can muster is boiling lobsters in front of children (suggested villainym: Chef Declamps), then do so. You never know which lobster will come from a toxic waste dump, and lets be honest, if the best you can do is torment lobsters, then it really can't hurt to add in giant mutant pincers or a bug face. Work with what you've got, and more importantly, steal what you don't have.
Coping It's hard to accept, but the sooner you do the better off you'll be: You are going to get punched in the face. A lot. Like, every day.
Your headquarters and/or equipment are going to be destroyed and/or confiscated. A lot. Weekly, at least.
One of the hazards of working in a Counter-Caring Career (CCC) is that violence is simply a reality, and a lot of that will be kicks to your abdomen. And there is nothing society loves more then to see the "villain" get beaten up by the "hero." It doesn't matter that someone strong enough to punch holes in 6-foot-thick lead walls and with perfect hair just pummeled a simple, humble, brilliant, all-but-emaciated inventor who was just trying to impress some girls.
"He had it coming!" they cry. "It's a good thing (insert stuper-name) pulled their punch," they'll tell one another. Bullshit. Let's see how you like having your jaw wired shut after you're pummeled while just trying to do your job. There you are, just punching stuff into your calculator at H & R Block, and BAM! you can't taste anything for a month.
These are the facts. So either never get caught, or be sure to invest in the ISS's very affordable health care package (cost: your health).
The Look It seems simple, but it's amazing how often most overlook the importance of proper attire. Everybody thinks they can throw on some shoulder pads or metal gauntlets and they're done. But that's just not so. Shoulder pads or metal gauntlets are for the heavy hits. And if you opt to wear shoulder pads and gauntlets, you'd better watch your ass, because you're just asking for about a thousand kicks in the junk.
Costumes, or uniforms, as some call them for tax reasons, should protect, but they should also be sleek and functional. They should protect your identity and/or face (remember the punching thing) or they should hide/house your nefarious gadgets.
As for the guys that have super powers, frankly, they're just playing dress up, which their mothers never allowed them to do as children. So now they get to get back at the world while wearing pantyhose and booties. It is really sad when two or more of the super-folks get together and start fighting. It's kind of like a pillow fight at a slumber party, except a thousand times sadder and creepier since they're usually all in their late twenties and doing this in public. (But, please, don't mention this them, good or evil, unless you know their weakness or like being thrown through mountains.)
The Nemesis Villains create heroes, and vice versa.
Don't kid yourself. You're going to attract unwanted attention (we can't emphasize the punching enough). But you don't have to settle for the first jerk with a tin badge and overactive sense of right and wrong, which some refer to as a superhero for tax reasons, that comes knocking you off your acid spewing rocket pogo-stick.
Remember, the no-holds-barred world of Tremendous Treachery (Double-T) is a two-way street. You don't have to wait around for just some "hero" to catch on to your plan, hopefully of the diabolical variety, and come to you. In fact, we very much recommend you study which one you want to fight first. Discover his or her weakness, who his or her loved ones are (a.k.a. "the hat trick") and his or her secret identity. That covers all the bases.
More than anything, mess with their heads. Remember, even though some heroes have degrees in fields like computers or physics or what have you, most are idiots.
To see this in action, try calling up your archenemy and telling him you've set in motion his doom, then sit back and watch as he spends the next month jumping at shadows. You don't have to do a thing. If you make it vague enough, or if the chump's gullible enough, you might get him or her to fly to the moon, and if you're lucky, stay there.
So there you have it. Just keep these few simple things in mind, have a self-righteous attitude, and don't let anything stand in the way of your goals or desires. Do that, and you'll be off to a great start in the exciting world of Malevolence Manufacturing (M&M). And if all else fails, you can always fall back on crapping on someone's pizza.
Hands up, who likes snails?
Okay, it's a dangerous world out there, and the Doctor doesn't really exist. That's a shame, because DALEKs do!
This is Weezer's video, "Pork and Beans."
Now, is this a good thing?
Meet Zoe, AKA Disaster Girl. It started with this picture her father snapped of her, when she seemed a little, um, involved in the house fire behind her.
They call it the Top Ten Everything of 2008.
Sara found this through Design*Sponge, one of her favorite sites. It's belongs a friend of the Design*Sponge author.
MMMMM! Beer and fish cake? More please!
Web Bots foresee a West Coast / Vancouver area large scale earthquake around December 12, 2008. 
I think I referenced the Coral Castle in another post. So here is yet another reference. I'm not obsessed. It's just unique, and nice. Not as big as it would seem from video and pictures though. Really, just kinda dinky. But nice.
You see, the "Arrogant Worms," an ironically apt name, are bothered that their song has become viral, and they want people to buy it, period. Apparently they think they are Metallica or something.
If I wrote pathetic little niche songs and my best hope for their popularity was that they might be enjoyed as "funny," I wouldn't squawk to youtube about copyright infringement, but they are Arrogant Worms after all.
That rant over, the video is very funny at times.
The song has some "potty mouth" language. The word A$$. You are warned.